areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
