dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize