Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
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do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
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How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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