It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
