Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
