hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
barbara walters just said penis...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
