he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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