watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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