Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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