yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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