My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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