he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
