Can Purell be used as lube?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
