i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
