I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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