im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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