He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
