It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
