wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
