I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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