Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
