It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize