Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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