I met the friendliest cop last night
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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