i may or may not be watching the land before time
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
