I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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