He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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