are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
