two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
