i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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