i love accidental penises.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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