I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
