Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
