You smell like a Billy Joel song
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
