Moan for me like Helen Keller
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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