I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
