I'm really into asian looking animals
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
