that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize