can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The air taste purple.
Randomize