The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
