id be glad to
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
