dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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