Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
