I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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