Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
