So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
