And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
