I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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