It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
