scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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