Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
