his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I deserve this hangover.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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