whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
