you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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