thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
