if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize