So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
