Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
