i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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