evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
