covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
