i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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