am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
