You're my little dorito
I think I am morally bankrupt
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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